I never said I wouldn’t vote for Pete Buttigieg…

I never said I wouldn’t vote for Pete Buttigieg…

…but my suggestion, in a Bluesky post, that Buttigieg might lose my vote due to his lack of support for trans rights ignited a firestorm in my mentions. Indignant Democrat after indignant Democrat weighed in, suggesting that my hesitancy on Buttigieg was the same as loving Trump. One or two even suggested that, as a trans person, I would deserve being sent to the concentration camps that my theoretical future possible non-vote for Buttigieg would usher in.

I spent an embarrassing amount of time arguing with these sorts of people last week. Today I want to zoom out and ask: What the heck was that about? Pete Buttigieg isn’t on any ballot and won’t be for many years. While there is some series of events that could lead to him being the Democratic nominee for President in 2028, it’s not that likely and there are a ton of things that could change how I think about voting in the next election between now and then.

So, what was I arguing about? Well, on the surface, it’s about the fact that the Democrats are fighting over trans rights. This is very painful for trans people, but it was also very easy to predict after Kamala Harris lost in an election where Donald Trump’s closing argument was about Harris’ supposed support for us.

Trans people are a small segment of the population, and many voters Democrats want to win harbor deep prejudices about us. There are, of course, good reasons to think Dems turning on trans people is misguided: Voters rank this issue last of their priorities, Harris worked to distance herself from us by dodging the issue and avoiding statements in support of trans rights, and the biggest underlying image problem Dems face is being wishy-washy, poll driven, and unwilling to fight, which would only be exacerbated by jettisoning trans people when the going gets hard. Still, it was inevitable that some Dems in search of an easy fix would see jettisoning trans rights as the solution to the party’s woes. Particularly when they want to avoid saying or doing anything that would upset their corporate donors.

As a trans person, the prospect of a country where the consensus of both parties is that trans people should be treated as second-class citizens is terrifying. But… I don’t think that’s really why I spent hours arguing about Buttigieg with Blue-no-matter-whos online.

I think it was more about grief.

As I write this, the big story of the week is that the President has ordered federal law enforcement agents to patrol the peaceful streets of Washington DC and called in the National Guard. The pretext of an emergency is so thin even mainstream media outlets that are bound and determined to normalize and excuse the creeping authoritarianism have all but thrown up their hands. Crime is down in DC, but the President’s desire to project the image of authoritarian monstrousness is up. The main point seems to be to show us all that he can get away with it, to underline the fact that our constitutional order has fallen, our checks and balances are no more, and democratic governance itself may not endure.

This is the ugly truth my arguments over Buttigieg were there to distract me from. The part of me that wants to argue about potential Democratic nominees for 2028 is the part that’s desperately clinging to the belief that it will matter greatly how much the 2028 Democratic nominee supports trans rights.

In moments where I take in what’s actually happening in 2025, I’m not sure how much it will matter, and that’s terrifying.

In the past 8 months the president has stripped mentions of trans people’s existence from government websites, and canceled grants for research into transgender health. He’s used the Department of Justice to intimidate providers into ending gender affirming care for youth in clinics and hospitals across the country, including several in states where laws explicitly protect this care. He’s forced out every trans person in the US military on the false pretext that they’re dishonorable and incapable of doing their jobs. He’s doggedly attempting to stop trans people from updating their passports post-transition (though this is currently blocked by the courts). Recently, he called for involuntary commitment of people who are homeless or mentally ill, raising the specter that he could misuse the definition of mental illness and start committing trans people against their will.

With all this having happened in just the first 8 months you have to wonder: Which rights of trans people will be left for a Democratic president to protect in 2028?

Past that, what remnant of the American system of government and constitutional order will still exist 2028?

There’s a deep, ongoing grief in losing shared values, institutions, and ideals. We don’t want to accept that we’re now ruled by a white nationalist dictator who has cowed the legislature and installed puppets in the Supreme Court. We want to live in a world where the pieces of the country we knew are still all there, and the all we need is a Democrat in office to put those pieces back.

It would be nice to believe a Democratic president could fix this, but we need to admit that there are things that have been broken that even a very good Democratic president would struggle to put right. The Corporation for Public Broadcasting, USAID, the infrastructure supporting scientific research, these things will be long gone by 2028. The CDC and FBI will be irrevocably changed. No Democrat will have the power to turn back time and undo the repeated, escalating violations of immigrants’ human rights.

And what of trans rights? Trans rights as we knew them in 2020 are unlikely return with the election of any Democrat in 2028. The Supreme Court has already made that very clear. Things are very bad, and likely to get worse. Blue states may offer pockets of protection, if we’re lucky, but nationally trans rights will take decades to make it back to where they were in 2020.

What’s left is a struggle for our survival, individually and as a community, under conditions that are worsening. In some places, at some times, electing Democrats will likely help. But a Democratic president won’t be coming to save trans people, and other Americans aren’t in much better shape. 

The grief of that is still so new and raw I struggle to take it in. I deny, I bargain, I get angry, I despair, I argue online about whether I’ll vote for Buttigieg. When 2028 arrives, too late to change what’s already been done, maybe I will, maybe I won’t. In the meantime I am trying to grapple with what’s happening, and figure out what accepting our new world would mean.

It’s important to accept what’s happening, because whatever comes, I intend to live in this new world, and even try to thrive, and be of service to my community — and I have no choice but to do so as a transgender man.